Big Sister

Adrianah was a baby when she became a big sister. At 16 months old she had a hard time understanding why I was in the hospital for a few days with another baby. She was ticked right off and completely ignored me when I came home with Landon. I think she felt betrayed. Little did we know it was just the start of her having to put her needs aside for her brother.

People must think we have twins when we are out with the two of them. Landon is taking after his 6'7 daddy and has been the same height as Adrianah for well over a year. Adrianah often asks me if people think they are twins because she loves the idea of people thinking she has a twin. Even though he is just as tall and much heavier, she still treats him like a little brother and doesn't mind doing things for him or giving him a horsey ride. I know she wishes she had a sibling that she could play with more often. Landon usually likes to do his own thing but when he does want to be around her, it's all on his terms. I absolutely love seeing them have fun together.

It's not easy being his big sister, but she rarely complains, because she loves him very much. I often feel sad for her when I think of all that she has to deal with at just 6 years old. Sometimes when Landon is upset he will specifically want to be with or hear Adrianah's voice. She usually is happy to be there for him but sometimes his demands are just too much for her as well. She's learnt to accept that in order to keep a meltdown at bay she also has to sacrifice some things. There have been too many times to count where she has had to leave a fun event early or miss out on one all together, turn her music/tv show off because he can't stand the sound, or simply play by herself, again, because Landon's needs are taking up all of my time. He yells at her and hits her when he's upset and often during a car ride she's huddled against the car door on her side so that he won't be able to reach her when he's swinging his arms and legs her way. I'm constantly apologizing to her on his behalf and she's always very forgiving. I sometimes worry about how this will affect her but I believe that it is creating strong character in her. I can see it already.

There are things that Jason and I like to do with her to make up for all that she misses out on. When we can, we like to take her on little dates and even if it's just Jason and her walking to the library, she feels special. Going to the movies is obviously something that we don't get to enjoy with Landon so it's something we can do just for her. Last spring we made the bold decision to take the kids to Disneyland. We knew that it could potentially be a disaster for Landon but we were willing to take the risk because it would be something that Adrianah would always remember. Thankfully, with help from Grandma, it went fairly well over all. We planned the trip around Adrianah's birthday and I was so happy for her because she still refers to it as the best day ever. Even though she will one day think back on her childhood as having its difficulties, I hope she is able to remember moments of feeling special in the midst of a family life that revolved around her little brother.

I feel so blessed when I think about her and her huge heart. She is very compassionate and understanding. I'm so proud of who she is already. She's the perfect sister for Landon.